Forward, Together Forward

Hmmm...where to begin...

For starters, I have to be honest here: I've been pretty lazy the last week with my eating. Quite frankly, I just haven't cared. There's been too much going on; too much stress with my job and then knowing the two year anniversary of what happened at NIU would soon be here.

I did, however, keep up with my exercise. I went to the gym 4 times last week, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday. Hopefully that helps balance out how the week went. My brother's birthday on Wednesday also brought a tasty bison burger from Ted's Montana Grill and some ice cream cake into the mix.

Nels and I mostly celebrated Valentine's Day on Saturday. Valentine's Day will never have the same meaning for me after what happened at NIU. We went and had a nice dinner at Italian restaurant Villa Verone in Sycamore. Dipping bread in oil & cheese is my favorite = ) haha. Here we are at our table...I love how the only thing you see is the rose on our table!

Funny thing about the rose - there was a middle-aged couple at the table next to us who left when we were about halfway finished eating. I watched the man stand up and pick up the plastic bag containing their leftovers. Then he glanced over his shoulder, plucked the rose out of its vase, and put it in the take home bag as well. Really??? You really needed to take that rose with you??? People are so weird, honestly!

When it comes to food, Nels and I are polar opposites. I stick with plain ("boring" as Nels likes to call them, haha) choices - chicken tenders, cheeseburgers, spaghetti or ravioli. Nels orders the most "interesting" food he can find on the menu. Take a look at what he ordered - now the photo is kind of dark, but look closely...mixed in with the linguini...

That would be octopus tentacles. Nels ordered a pasta dish with clams, shrimp, octopus, and calamari. GROSS!!! On dessert we are much more agreeable. We shared a yummy cannoli.

My claddaugh ring has been missing for about 3 weeks now, and Nels knows it's been really bothering me because I wear it every day. For Valentine's Day, he bought me a new one. Unfortunately for Nels, I happened to find my ring in my bedroom the very same day he bought the new one : ) sorry sweetie! So he returned it. He says he'll give me a gift next week but I said I didn't want one and our dinner was plenty.

From there, I have no idea on how to transition to today's stuff so I'm just going to dive right in.

I'm not sure if I will attend the memorial every year as time goes on, but as of right now, I feel like I will want to. Tonight I definitely felt like it was where I needed to be.

That's the back of my free shirt from NIU's Office of Support & Advocacy, the office created exclusively for the students who were in Geology 104 (the class the gunman walked into. My class, in case you're clueless).

Turnout for the memorial was less than last year, which is to be expected. Everyone makes a big deal about the first year. I understand that many are just trying to move on. What upset me, however, was some people's behavior at the candlelight vigil I went to. Some groups of people were telling obnoxious stories and laughing before

the vigil started, and I could tell it was mostly freshman/sophomores who were not at NIU when everything happened. I'm not saying everyone should be standing there crying, but the behavior was really inappropriate to me.

This was also my first time seeing the permanent memorial - the 5 walls, each bearing a name of one of the fallen - and the sculpture. As soon as I walked up to the walls and saw all of the flowers and cards, I started crying. It was the first time everything hit me since the memorial last year. It was also my first time standing next to Cole Hall since the memorial last year. It is still incomprehensible to me that this terrible event happened in a class I sat in. I'm thankful for all of the kind Facebook comments, messages, texts, and phone calls I received today. I cannot stop thinking about the families of Gayle, Daniel, Julianna, Catalina and Ryanne. I wish I had the transcript of President Peters' speech, because I thought it was wonderful how he talked about the spirit of each of the fallen.

Tomorrow is Monday, and I have to get back on track and keep moving forward.

Always in our hearts ~ February 14, 2008